Beyond Business: Community
When I was designing the space for The NOSMO, I wanted it to be a sort of a third space for women. I wanted it to be a place where yes, they could come and get their skincare services, but also a space where they could nourish themselves, engage in good conversations, and become a support system for each other - the kind that we somehow lost over the years amidst the chaos.
A few days back, we had a client who came with her mother, and me being me, (certified yapper), started talking to the lady. She was one of the loveliest people I’ve met - and she said something that left me thinking.
She wanted to start a small home-based baking business, so she could spend some time doing what she enjoyed. She said her main concern with all her kids now grown up, was that she wanted to do something where she wasn’t dependent on them emotionally.
I could see almost every Pakistani woman in her eyes. A woman who carries in her heart, a young girl just like me, with hopes and dreams, and things she wants to do, places she wants to see, except she put all the on pause for her kids and her family. This story of sacrifice, as noble as it is, carries so much in it - perhaps more than what we as a society can ever give back.
As we spent some time together, I couldn’t help myself from telling the lady how to streamline her things so she could achieve this dream. I shared with her the basic steps of setting up a system where she could take orders and process them, a bit about branding, and offered to teach her how to post on Instagram. I talked about her baking in a small whatsapp group hoping to give her a push start. And then a few days later she sent me, perhaps one of the most heartfelt messages I’ve ever received; telling me our conversation helped give her direction, and helped get her out of the mental barriers she had built.
NOTHING I did for this lady was extraordinary. It was just stuff that comes easy to me (after my elaborate list of startups I’ve found) and I’m sure she would have excelled even without anything I had done for her. But it did so much for me.
I was reminded of the joy of building something, especially when you can see the outcome with your own eyes. I was reminded of the satisfaction, that simply cannot be put into monetary terms, of just being useful in society, and lending support wherever you can.
When I was younger, I was skeptical of people who lent advise. Why would they help out? What’s the ulterior motive? And the quintessential Pakistani mindset problem that I was once a victim of: are they offering to help to steal my idea? (I could write an entire piece on this mindset). But now I realize building a business is H A R D. Everyday is a rollercoaster that is located in a hurricane, and there’s a volcano bursting in the background. And people who recognize that, are willing to lend help because even with all of it in the world, you need so much grit and resilience to “make it”.
The Harvard Grant Study, which tracked students over several decades to see what truly makes a life ‘happy’ and fulfilling, The number one factor was having meaningful relationships. You could be having a terrible week at work, and someone could appreciate your efforts and all of a sudden, you can feel the pain disappearing. Same with friendships, healthy relationships with family, your partner, colleagues, mentors, and the community you build over time.
Life really is a journey and it’s best experienced as a traveler. Not just in the sense that things are temporary, but also in the sense that we embody the joy, liberation, perspective, curiosity, humility and wisdom of a traveler. Communities are key to us thriving as people. Humans are not designed for isolation. That’s why experiences that feel isolating often end up leaving us miserable - doom scrolling on social media, online shopping where the joy doesn’t feel as good as going to the store and experiencing the items before you make the purchase, endless internet communities that give us a sense of belonging for a split second until we crave the old-school bbq with your friends and family over a guitar.
Communities are inconvenient. Building meaningful relationships is inconvenient. But inconvenience is a tiny cost we have to pay for the infinite benefits of the love and support that communities bring to our lives. As I progress in my professional career, I cannot help but think about the importance of true community. The NOSMO is my small way of facilitating building the space that will allow for community to grow. The story of the lady above, is the kind of warmth that I envisioned NOSMO to hold for people. To a life lived alongside other.
Loog miltay rahay, karavaan banta gaya.